Holiday Sweater Time

Remember when it was before christmas and not actually February already? Somehow time just ZOOMED on by and I couldn't even get any decent blog-a-loging in. First and foremost, hello to all the people who have just started reading! I can tell I already like you, mostly because you feed my narcism.

Secondly, its like, been a hot minute, but not taking a few minutes, however seasonally un-appropriate, to talk about the fabulous Holiday Sweater Party that Blaine and I threw would make me a Grinch. Why, it would be down right Scrooge-like!

My dog was not invited- but on Christmas he wore a sweater because he likes to and it makes him look handsome. Plus its got pockets for all the things he has to carry.

This is Blaine- and he takes me on the best dates. You might think you have taken a lady on a date that knocked her socks off, but you didn't because you're not Blaine.

That lipstick that Blaine is wearing, the color is called Leading Lady, he stole it from me on my birthday. This is what he had to say about the subject-

me: lets go to the bar we went to for my birthday

where you STOLE LEADING LADY

Blaine: STOLE!?!?! more like drunkenly liberated and applied to everyone in sight

i offered to give her back!

ten minutes go by

Blaine: we have duel custody over leading lady

What is even more important to know is that Blaine was the one who originally gave me the lipstick because he felt he no longer had a use for it, as in he went to Sephora and spent 22 dollars on it because there was a time that he had need for it. And then he needed it back because I had to go to the Sephora and buy another tube. I am realizing that I could actually write a whole post just on Leading Lady debauchery and funny texts regarding the lass, but this is about Holiday Sweaters, which it must be noted encompasses Ugly Sweaters, but casts a wider net. These subtleties should be recognized.

Our facebook invite to the masses went like this-

Because we have an unlimited supply of love for holiday sweaters but not an unlimited season an event must be had.

this is not a holiday celebration
this is a celebration in honor of holiday sweaters
I think the distinction is important
a celebration of awful holiday sweaters
co-sponsored by grandpa's and bad taste everywhere

Specialty cocktails and a bar crawl come free with your participation. And obviously there is a dress code, don't be a douche, we're giving you plenty of time to get your act together.

Crafting was especially encouraged, and I crafted the goddamn shit outta this amazing sweater Kirsten had lent me last year. That fucking cat needed a santa hat so hard. Also please note the sweet stockings Blaine hand personalized for the occasion!

Laura gets first place in the crafting bonaza. She made zomie santas and brains presents. HOLY COW! I also had no idea that Laura was into zombies, so I learned something new about Laura.

Grand Crafted Sweater Prize, however, went to Caleb and Jackie for making a hat that lights up, a 40 oz holder that is a stocking and sewing actual christmas bobbles onto a sweater. Plus matching outfits were all the rage! Just ask Rosalie and Lester....

... uh I mean Lisa and Isaac. Lisa found these amazing vintage holiday sweaters that were actually once her parents. If ugly sweaters are wrong, I don't want to be right! I mean the detailing in Lester/Isaac's sweater, those are PEOPLE either golfing or ice skating, being watched by other people! In a park! Near an office building!Roz was on "anti biotics" and "wasn't drinking."

Jealous of Santa, we tried to make our own beards from Jackie's garland.

In fact Jackie was so jealous of Santa she later did this-

Its ol' St.Jackie on her dresser/sleigh with three tiny "reindeer!"

And her voice lifted through the cold New York air with cheer-

ON BLAINE! ON CALEB! ON ASHLEY!

HAPPY SWEATERS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!

The Invisible Dog

The Invisible Dog, a gallery located on 51 Bergen Street, is really the something special the neib needed. Their story goes as such- the space was a factory, as were many on this particular block (I remember as a very young child walking past the cheese factory everyday on the way to school- and it smelling exactly how you would expect a cheese factory to smell, like kinda/almost good, and really smelly. This factory doesn't exist anymore, someone now lives where it once stood. I often muse to myself as I walk by "Does the space still smell like cheese inside...?") and this factory made many goods, but as the economy and the landscape of manufacturing changed the only thing the factory continued to produce, up until 2006, was those invisible dog leashes that you can buy at Disneyworld. Improv Everywhere used the leftover leashes for a fantastic and good humored prank a little under a year ago.
Now the factory is a wonderfully patina'd gallery space, hosting some really fantastic work. On the first floor was a mish mosh of all different kinds of work. I don't know if it was the space, the installation, or the curation- probably a combination of all three, but even though the works were not cohesive, it worked viewing them all together.

Off to the side was a nice group of work made out of old metro cards. This one I thought was particularly good advice:

One of the windows had a small step ladder, and I was up for a mini adventure-It led to a bizarre garden space.
I fell in love with this lamp, and the wall in which it was hung- and the mossy neglect. I know neglect is a word that usually has a negative meaning, but I felt there was no better way to show off the beauty of this wall than to leave it alone for many seasons. Let the Spring water find its ways into the cracks, and the freezing Winter chill expand the water droplets, growing the cracks, let the Fall spores find good, solid homes in the nooks and the Summer heat nurture the moss and the mold.
Somewhere inside me a hippie poet is fighting to get out.
And since we're talking about old relics, check out this sign I spotted on the way to third floor. Obviously from days of yore.

Climbing the 'Dacks!

It seems like when I go upstate to climb the weather just turns to shit and makes any attempts at outdoor climbing almost impossible. Saturday it rained the whole time so we hollered at the indoor gym instead.While the gym is mostly a bouldering gym, as the ceilings are not super tall, I was able to get some leading in.
What a thrill. My gym has a super rigorous lead test on an inverted wall at a super high rating (not fair! I'm a lady, I never claimed to be able to hold onto a wall for that long, upper body strength ain't my forte) so I don't get to climb lead there (YET), but I am able to climb at AIR, which I love. The thrill pushes me harder, and I love a throbbing forearm. Its less climbing vertical and more traversing at this gym (again, because of the low ceilings I presume) which can be more intense, especially 20 plus feet off the ground.
Someone at the gym had set up a swing out, aka super terrifying. Brendan has climbed about 6 and a half feet away from his last clip in and is prepping to jump off the wall any second now. Its like trying to tell yourself to walk off a cliff.
Every good gym has a dog. This one is Riley. She's adorable.
Speaking of dogs, look how good Brendan's are. SOOOOOO CUTE!fdasklg;jasklag
We took the dogs camping with us, but since it was raining and gross we did "fake camping" at Nate's grandparent's cabin near the lake. It wasn't real camping, but it was a real good time. One bottle of Jameson later, we all went skinny dipping, something I haven't done since 8th grade graduation. Even the dogs joined us!
One hung over morning later we got ready for some outdoor climbing!
We got ready very slooowwlllyyy....
Across the street from the lake shack was this house, which is maybe the ugliest, most poorly decorated, designed, and thought out house ever. Lets chat about it, shall we?
Oh yes, the ever popular vertical siding, commonly used nowhere, a mysical floating colbat mirror orb on a pedistal, THE LETTER Q, and last but certainly not least, an empty shrine, or as Nate insisted, a urinal. So bizarre.
We brought the dogs climbing- check out that figure 8 on the static line we used to keep them from jumping off a cliff. YEAH!
The walls were so wet from the day before I really struggled against the slime. Also our first routes were crack climbing, instead of face climbing. The most common way of climbing a crack is by jamming, which is exactly what it sounds like. Shove your hand or foot into the crack and twist it around until it stays there. Some people say if it hurts you're doing it right. Needless to say I'm not a fan of crack climbing.We switched to a climb called Afternoon Delight, which was something like 65 ft high. The exposure was fantastic but boy oh boy did I get super scared up there. Total adrenaline rush! I can't wait to get back at the walls!

That's me just about to pee my pants doing the swing out.

Barbara-Q!

Every year I invite my friends up to the suburbs to partake in a little mom and dad coddling-dog loving-backyard grass-ing-hammock swinging-frisbe throwing-bbq good time! Its really amazing to be able to open my house up to my friends to provide a quick escape from the city. Plus FREE FOOD!
This year the eats were all vegetarian (my first all veggie bbq-ever!) and mostly vegan. I made delish portobello caps marinated in terayaki sauce. MMmmmm! Also available were asparagus, cold sesame noodles, gazpacho, chips, vegan hot dogs and burgers, and sword fighting corn on the cob. To drink-lemonade, beer, beer, beer and mint julep! The day ended with vanilla ice cream, and soy pomegranate chip ice cream. Soooo good!

Bob and Josh brought a guitar and drum box that one sits on and hit between one's legs whose name I've forgotten, and I brought my uke so we could pump up the jams. Lisa's dad and James delighted us with an awesome collaboration. Guitar and Uke unite!

A freak rain shower forced us all in quickly, but the party still continued! We all sat around my mother as she told us kiddies the orgins of Fritz, our mounted reindeer head. And the night ended with Brendan and I playing two hands piano, of which I feel its pretty clear that I haven't played in 10 years. I even screwed up Heart and Soul.
It was a great gathering of my birthright peeps and my home town friends and moms and dads. Super good times!

Upstate New York

My recent obsession with rock climbing has not gone away at all. Its increased, there is more or less nothing else I want to do (except be the owner of every fancy dress and fabulous shoe out there, and lets face it, that will probably never happen) (also, except for laying in grass in a park, and/or listening to live music) (and also, drinking good beer in perfect weather) and last weekend I was given the chance to jump on some real rock in the Adirondacks, or the 'dacks if you like speaking in climber lingo, which I totes don't.
So I took a two hour train ride, and a two hour car ride to somewhere near Albany, and then the weather was stupid cold and stupid raining and stupid stupid. No outdoorsing for me. We did hit up AIR, an indoor gym, where I lead climbed (or lead, or leaded, what is the past of this?) for the first time and totally got high (ha ha, I'm very punny) from that alone. They also had miles and miles (or like almost two) of indoor caves, the only gym like this in the nation, which will make any claustrophobe throw up and any kid or kid at heart pee their pants with glee. Yours truly especially liked the zip line. A playground for adults!

So- upstate is nothing like the city, and its kind of boring, and you have to take cars everywhere, a personal annoyance of mine. And yet I had SO much fun on my break from the city (even though I was away I insisted we watch New York, I Love You) I only took this one photo of Brendan with his dog, Cooper. I was too busy drinking at bizarre bars, eating delish veggie food, and pulling plastic.
I love dogs, and Brendan's were really special and you should go and holler at them if you like handsome dogs.

My dog is totes adorable

This is old man Merlin, and yes hes adooorrrraaabbllleeeeeee. My brother and his girlfriend are taking care of him just because they want to. Merlin seems to be enjoying it, I don't know if he's ever visited the reservoir before. This is totally a geeewwwyy post of my dog. I understand its gratuitous. But its really cute.

Dog Love

It's like siamese dogs. Its not but it looks like it.
Look how happy these guys are, to be in the park, under the sun, with their very bestest friend. And a good poufy hair cut. Yes!

Some Good Dogs

Truth be told, I lent out my point and shoot and my dSLR is broken (WHAT! After only two weeks! I know, I'm getting a new one today) so instead of cool new photos here's from my library of "practicing with the new camera." It is of really good dogs at the farmer's market. I can't wait to be a dog owner!

Sunning, Lazing, Sheep's Meadow

This weekend- basically out of nowhere- was the nicest weather in NYC in a hot minute (get it?!). Jordan, my number one lover, invited me to the park to just lay in the sun and do not-a-thing for the whole day. Of course I was diggity down.

High lights included
-meeting all the wonderful people like Will, Courtney, Maria, Maytal and Michael. And seeing Marina again, sober.
-the littlest smallest tiniest puniest dog ever, WITH A MOHAWK.
-watching Capoeria
-an ocean of hot (gay) men with no shirts on
-listening to Mariah Carey's best jams (Honey, Fantasy, Always Be My Baby)
-the Sun!
-Kyle saying "Look at this. I'm going to put this in my mouth." in regards to a massive sandwich.


Oh man, the tiniest doggel ever.


Maytal trying out the Capoeira


the Group of loverlies


Kyle- a good man.

I don't know what I was doing- lets just assume it was squishing your head.

SUPER MODEL!

Free Hugs, a necessity even over a fence.

I wore SO MUCH sunscreen.